I have often been surprised as I have returned to former homes and residences by the things that I had remembered about those places. I have often been even more surprised by the things that I somehow didn't remember that are shockingly apparent.
For example, the first time that I went back to France I was shocked to remember the often poor behavior of French children, as well as the graffiti, and often dirty streets. I had simply blocked out these negative aspects, and subconsciously only remembered the more positive things I love about France. Not that these things really tarnish, or change my perception of France as a whole, but it is strange that I am simply ommited these elements from my memories.
I was back in Wisconsin twice this winter, again I was surprised that I had simply blocked out memories of things I didn’t like very much there. I am now in Naples for the first time in three years. I had forgotten how different the Neapolitan dialect is from Italian. I had forgotten how much trash is simply piled up everywhere. I had forgotten that every time you step into the street, you take your life into your hands – but if you don’t just step into the street, you will never get across it.
This kind of selective memory certainly does not only apply to places, just I seem to have a strong tendency to associate positive memories with places. Some people seem to selectively remember details about relationships, instructions, things that they don’t want to do, etc.
So I am wondering, does everyone tend to remember the positive of their experiences? I wouldn’t think so, but I don’t know… I can think of some people who seem to remember only the negative. So what determines this important difference? I assume that there is some form of a choice involved, but perhaps also some environmental formation from the perception of those around us.
For example, the first time that I went back to France I was shocked to remember the often poor behavior of French children, as well as the graffiti, and often dirty streets. I had simply blocked out these negative aspects, and subconsciously only remembered the more positive things I love about France. Not that these things really tarnish, or change my perception of France as a whole, but it is strange that I am simply ommited these elements from my memories.
I was back in Wisconsin twice this winter, again I was surprised that I had simply blocked out memories of things I didn’t like very much there. I am now in Naples for the first time in three years. I had forgotten how different the Neapolitan dialect is from Italian. I had forgotten how much trash is simply piled up everywhere. I had forgotten that every time you step into the street, you take your life into your hands – but if you don’t just step into the street, you will never get across it.
This kind of selective memory certainly does not only apply to places, just I seem to have a strong tendency to associate positive memories with places. Some people seem to selectively remember details about relationships, instructions, things that they don’t want to do, etc.
So I am wondering, does everyone tend to remember the positive of their experiences? I wouldn’t think so, but I don’t know… I can think of some people who seem to remember only the negative. So what determines this important difference? I assume that there is some form of a choice involved, but perhaps also some environmental formation from the perception of those around us.
1 comment:
I definitely agree. I almost always tend to remember the positives and romance the memories of my time spent places, especially France. Looking back, I had a great time in France, I learned a language, made great friends (such as yourself) and gained a bounty of cultural experiences. I tend to ignore the misery of the Lycée. Recently my parents told me how they were horrified that they had made a big mistake in sending me to the Lycée in my second year. My FS year had went well, but once they threw me into the regular rotation, my parents said that I looked perpetually pale and beaten down. I remember it being tough, but the way they described me and their fears over how I might come out of it are things that I have pushed out. I don't think there's anything wrong with remembering the good, ultimately I think it makes you a happier person to hold onto the positive experiences in your life than to dwell on the negative.
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